Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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