i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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