But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
