i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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