Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize