she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
