Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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