She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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