I should be sponsored by Trojan
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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