I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize