oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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