Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
