well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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