I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
