Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
