Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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