saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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