I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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