look no pants
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.