so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.