She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus