In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex