do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
