There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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