Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
