Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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