I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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