we have officially lost it.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
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SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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