i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
