So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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