Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
