...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
