I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
