masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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