why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How naked do you want me to be?
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