Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
