Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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