Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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