i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
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I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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