And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
