No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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