that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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