the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
