I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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