he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My life is pants optional.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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