Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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