you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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