im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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