Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
