if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i now understand why vodka
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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