batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
