And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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