i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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