yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
