marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
