..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
