His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
