YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
