even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
