a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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